Not all trauma bonds end in ruin.

When We Googled It, It Said We Were Doomed.

When me and Stu first got sick - emotionally, mentally, physically - it didn’t start with answers. It started with survival.

We both went to the doctor, separately. I was diagnosed first, then he was.

I was given one diagnosis after another: BPD (EUPD) And then PMDD.

The NHS told us to take more meds. Venlafaxine. Diazepam. Mood stabilisers, Antipsychotics. Hormone blockers. Then they wanted to remove my organs entirely.

I remember thinking: Is this really the only path they have for people like me? No one asked about trauma. No one asked about my childhood. No one told me my sensitivity was sacred.

They just said: “Here, take this. Wait six months. Don’t Google things. Stop doing your own research.”

That last one nearly broke me. Because doing my own research saved my life, and our relationship. We didn’t just sit in GP offices and wait to be fixed. We went deep. We read books. We sat through uncomfortable truths.

We stayed up talking for hours, holding hands through panic attacks, naming inner child wounds, processing shame, rage, and grief.

We learned about:

– nervous system regulation

– trauma bonds and sacred polarity

– emotional triggers and repair

– attachment styles, BPD traits, C-PTSD symptoms

– psychedelic healing, bodywork, plant medicine, and somatic tools

– how to actually love each other without fawning, fixing, or freezing

I even did 35 full sessions of CAT therapy - Cognitive Analytic Therapy.

And at the end, they said: “There you go. You have everything you need now to be your own therapist.”

As if that was the end of the road. But it wasn’t. It was barely the beginning. The amount of work I’ve done since then is unbelievable.

Not because I’m some superhero - But because no one gave us a real map.

The system didn’t know what to do with people like us. Two people with trauma. With diagnoses. Still in love.

They said we were too much. Too broken. That our love would never last. That we’d either destroy each other or have to walk away.

But we didn’t. We stayed. We healed.

We built something sacred from the ashes of everything they said couldn’t work.

And here’s something else they won’t tell you: We’re now on no medication. No more pills numbing who we are.

We regulate together. We speak truth. We hold each other. We are learning to live fully alive.

 

And now we’re building something bigger,

Because we know we’re not the only ones who’ve Googled, “Can a trauma bond be healed?”

Or “BPD and C-PTSD relationship help.” And found nothing but doom.

 

We’re creating a platform called We Found Our Way

—an online sanctuary for couples like us. A place where healing isn’t one-size-fits-all.

Where art, trauma wisdom, emotional tools, blog posts, and nervous system support live side by side.

A place that says: You are not broken. You are not too much. You are not doomed.

You’re just not seen yet. But we see you.

Stay tuned. The map is coming. And you’re not alone anymore.

 

Everything we found told us we were doomed!

“Two people with trauma shouldn’t be together.”

“Walk away.”

“He needs years of therapy.”

“BPD and CPTSD will only destroy each other.”

“Trauma bonds are toxic. End it.”

Page after page. Video after video.

Not one person said—“Maybe… you could actually heal together.”

 

We nearly believed it.

And for a while, we did live out the nightmare they described.

We triggered each other. Hurt each other.

Repeated childhood patterns we didn’t even realise we had.

We mistook trauma for love.

We mistook dysregulation for passion.

And we thought repair just meant pretending it didn’t happen.

 

But here’s what they didn’t tell us:

When two people are both willing to heal—really heal—

The trauma bond can become a sacred initiation.

Not into suffering, but into truth.

Not into chaos, but into intimacy.

Not into forever performing, but into finally being seen.

We didn’t just survive it. We transmuted it. We alchemised our pain

 

We learned how to:

• Sit in the fire of our triggers

• Name what was never named in childhood

• Build protocols for emotional safety

• Hold space without trying to fix

• Rewire our nervous systems together

• Walk each other home

 

And here’s the wild part… it’s rare, yes—

But it’s only rare because no one gives couples like us a map. Because the system teaches that we can only heal alone.

Because diagnosis is used as a warning, not a doorway. Because “pathologizing” has replaced humanizing.

So we’re changing that.

We’re building a platform called We Found Our Way

A living map for other couples like us. Where one (or both) partners has trauma, a diagnosis, or emotional pain…

But both are ready to learn a new way of loving.

Our site will be a soft landing:

💬 Blog posts with real stories (not textbook horror)

🛠️ Practical tools, scripts, rituals, and rules that worked for us

🎨 Art, reels, and resources that speak to the nervous system

🧭 Pathways through trauma bonds to sacred connection

💑 Guides for the one doing the healing alone while their partner catches up

💌 A reminder that staying isn’t weak—it’s revolutionary (when done right)

We’re not pretending it’s easy. We did nearly lose everything.

But we didn’t give up. And we didn’t let our diagnoses define us.

So if you’re here searching…If you Googled something like

“Can a trauma bond be healed?”

“BPD and C-PTSD relationship survival”

or

“Should I stay or leave a toxic relationship?”

 

We just want you to know: There is a way. It’s not the way they told you.

But it’s real. And it’s ours.

#WeFoundOurWay